"Houston, Are We There Yet?"

We all know the experience.  We pack, get in the car, and set out on a road trip vacation.  Thirty minutes later (if we are lucky), we are FINALLY reaching the last suburb before exiting urban sprawl and entering the wide-open country.  Same problem with space travel.  35 years, 2 months and 22 days after launch, the nimble Voyager 1 spacecraft has entered the last suburb of out solar system before reaching wide-open interstellar space.  "This may be the last opportunity for fuel and a restroom break before entering the space between solar systems," said an unnamed Jet Propulsion Lab employee.  Voyager 1 is a little over 123 AUs (astronomical units) or 11.4 billion miles away from Earth.  The new zone into which Voyager entered is described as a "magnetic highway."  "Traffic has thinned out and in another couple of years, as long as the Russian Department of Transportation does not get involved, Voyager should be outside our solar city," said another unnamed, non-existent employee of JPL.

Ukraine to Italy: Your Prime Minister is Worse Than Mine

Silvio Berlusconi

 A spat has erupted between Gianni Alemanno, mayor of Rome, and Gennady Kernes, mayor of Kharkiv, over the mistreatment of their respective prime ministers.  Alemanno began the fight by plastering on city hall a huge poster protesting the incarceration of Yulia Tymoshenko.  Rome, throw no stones if you live in a glass bonga bonga house.  Kernes responded in kind with a giant poster of Silvio "you're not too young" Berlusconi escaping from jail.

Yulia Tymoshenko

Punishment Reform: Shame Masks

Verboten in modern schools, use of a Schandmaske (shame mask) was a common form of behavior modification in Medieval Europe.  The theme of the mask often metaphorically represented the reproachful behavior.  For those ill-mannered, expect to wear of metal pig head.  For those who talk out of turn or gossip, expect a mask with a giant tongue.  Scotland and England employed a scold's bridle or "brank" as a similar form of punishment.  The brank included a bit that was forced into the mouth of the wayward woman who had cursed, practiced witchcraft, or nagged.

Texas Collection: Maps of Waco

City of Waco, Texas 1886 - Town Square

The Texas Collection at Baylor (one of the top special collection libraries) has on display maps of  Waco, Texas from the 1845 through 1913.  The maps show the heyday of Waco on the Brazos, a time when the city was poised to become a prominent community in the state of Texas.  Here is the link to the digital exhibit.

Olsen, Pal of Superman

Action Comics No. 6

When I think of Superman/Clark Kent, I think of Jimmy Olsen, the "almost, but not quite" character.  A Norwegian lost in Metropolis, Olsen is loyal and good at heart.  (Olsen = Son of Ole, link to Ole jokes)  He is vulnerable because he wants to be more than a mere photojournalist, sidekick, "pal" to superman.  Also, he is a red head.  Jimmy first appears in Action Comics No. 6 as an "office boy," whatever that means in 1938.  It is a strange episode in which Lois inadvertently tries to date rape Superman by drugging Clark Kent so she can meet up later with Superman.  In 1938, rohypnol did not phase the man-of-steel.  The "office boy" was not named until 1940 in the Adventures of Superman radio show.  Superman could be the solitary existentialist in illustrated print, but on the air Superman/Clark Kent needed someone to talk with, so the "office boy" gained a name and a voice.  The first voice of Jimmy Olsen was Jack Grimes (1926-2009).  Fewer and fewer remember the Grimes' Jimmy Olsen, but even I (must) remember his voice as Spritle and Sparky in the anime classic Speed Racer.

The Adventures of Superman Radio Show

UCLA: Most Dangerous College Campus

Learn Forensics at Home.

Business Insider's list of Most Dangerous Colleges ranks UCLA at the top based on current FBI Data.  Relying on just campus crime data collected by the US Department of Education under the Clery Act, Howard University and Yale top the list as most dangerous.  Despite being a paradise of beaches, sun, and glamor, California is host to 5 of the 25 most dangerous campuses in the United States.

Eager students wanting to take advantage of crime ridden campuses for their forensic science degrees can check out the Crime Scene University series produced by Penn State.

UPDATE - Kim Jong-Un Cheat Sheet & Bogus Sexy Cop

Since the original post, new information has been released about the international mystery-man Kim Jong-Un.  Most importantly, Supreme Leader Un has been honored with the "Sexiest Man Alive" award from the Onion Global Media Center.  This nobel honor has been enthusiastically seconded by the Peoples Daily of China who ran a 55 page spread on the youthful leader of North Korea.

Sexy Cop Wang

The honor of Kim Jong-Un is overshadowed only by the story on the Bogus Sexy Cop, Lin Wang.  Everyone knows that there are no sexy Chinese cops, so Lin Wang's blog posts about being forced to dine with government officials were quickly identified as "cheating and bluffing," a savage crime warranting jail time.  Fortunately, the kinder, gentler side of the Fengtai district court prevailed, permitting Wang's jail sentence to be suspended in exchange for a slap on the wrist.

Popemobile + Stag Party = Indulgences

Family Guy "Holy Crap" episode

Once described as "very discreet, very noble," the popemobile used by John Paul II is available for rent the next time you visit Dublin.  The National Wax Museum in Dublin Ireland has purchased and re-purposed the iconic popemobile for "special events."  The features of this popemobile include: Pope chair, 15 additional seats, sizable windows, and a "bessing" balcony.  The original 1979 Ford popemobile included silk carpet. I suspect that the new owners have replaced the flooring with something easier to clean.  Prior to the sacrament of marriage, this is the ideal platform to host a memorable bachelor bash. With an optional confessional, you can rent the popemobile for $480/night.  For a history of the popemobile, check out this site.

Popemobile for Rent

1979 Popemobile with Pope

Almax Mannequins, "I see you looking at me looking at you..."

As if the holiday shopping season were not painful enough, the mannequin manufacturer Almax, of Italy, introduced the EyeSee Mannequin which uses facial recognition software to gather data about shoppers.  As Almax proudly exclaims, "This product will do much more; it would make it possible to "observe" who is attracted by your windows and reveal important details about your customers:

Autons from Dr. Who, "Spearhead from Space"

age range; gender; race; number of people and time spent."  Almax has installed cameras in the mannequin's eyes and a computer in its torso.  By gathering data about who is looking at the mannequin, the stores hope to better market its merchandise.  What next?  Will Almax install guns in the hands of this faux humans to "protect" the store?  Mannequins are already creepy; adding the ability to secretly gather data about you when you walk past makes them dangerous.  Did no one learn about the dangers of intelligent mannequins from the Dr. Who episode "Spearhead From Space?"

Sailing Speed Record: Columbus would be spinning

The Pinta.

Sailrocket 1 going into the air.

In the days of Christopher Columbus, the Pinta would have averaged 4.6 mph with a top speed of 9 mph.  On November 24, 2012, the Sailrocket 2 (watch what happened to Sailrocket 1) the 40 ft. boat piloted by Paul Larsen (not the Medievalist), (unofficially) broke the world sailing speed record with an average speed of 74 mph and a peak speed of 77 mph.  The boat is designed for only one thing, speed.  There is no room for storage.  The boat only travels one direction... you have to use a motor boat to pull it in and out of the marina.  But, 100 years ago, it would have been inconceivable to imagine a sailboat traveling 2.5 times the speed of the wind.

Tag My Ride: JonOne paints a Rolls

On live t.v. in Paris, France, ex-patriot American graffiti artist JonOne (John Perello) spray painted a convertible Rolls Royce.  The Rolls will be auctioned off for charity on December 7, 2012.

Although JoOne received no formal art training, he is considered one of the top American artists and has been compared to mid-century artists like Pollock, de Kooning, and Dubuffet.  When JonOne moved to Paris in 1987, he began painting on more traditional substrates, like canvas.  Although this was a rejection of his famous quote, "The subway is a museum that runs through the city," his work became physically accessible to the Parisian artworld.  Since then, his reputation has expanded internationally.

Hair, Albert Camus and Liberty

Beatles, 1969

In 1969 Roger Thurston, principal of Marlboro High School in Massacuetes, suspeneded Robert Richards Jr. for wearing his hair in a style "reminiscent of the English singers called 'The Beatles.'" Richards v. Thurston, 304 F. Supp. 449, 451 (D. Mass. 1969).  Robert, through his father, filed a 1983 action against the principal seeking readmission to school.  Chief Judge Wyzanski (one of the few lawyers to study with both Hands, Nobel and Learned) kindly noted that Robert's hair, although long, was more tidy than that of Albert Einstein's.  Id.  The school did not have a written policy on hair length. Thus, it was not a difficult leap to find that young, hairy Robert was denied liberties protected by the Constitution.  Interestingly, Judge Wyzanski invoked Albert Camus's The Rebel to help explain the tension between Liberty and Order.  Without order, liberties are lost.  "Order can be defined properly only in terms of the liberties for which it exists, as liberty can be defined properly only in terms of the ordered society in which it thrives. As Albert Camus implied in The Rebel, order and liberty must find their limits in each other."  Id. at 452.   

Albert Camus

To Be Or Not To Be An Island?... That depends on Google.

For those planning a trip to the South Pacific island of Sandy this Winter (N. Hemisphere), time to ask your travel agent for a refund.  Sandy Island does not exist.  Despite being clearly identified on Google Earth and marine charts for the area, scientists recently discovered the clear and undoubtable absence of an island at Latitude 19°13'28.77"S, Longitude 159°56'35.24"E.  Scientist Dr. Seton noted that the ocean at this area is almost a mile deep, which would make the presence of an island very unlikely.  Unlike Columbus, Dr. Seton and crew set out to discover the absense of land... and they succeeded.  This undiscovery opens up a new field of scientific research into the non-existance.  Just this morning I discovered the non-existence of a second floor to my house and the absence of a Caribbean beach in my backyard.  Unsettling, yet sobering discoveries that will reshape the world in which we all live.

Friends of Cameron Park

I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining

The residents around Cameron Park in Waco, Texas have organized a group to oppose the installation of a zipline in the park.  The City of Waco is considering authorizing the installation of a 50ft. tower at Lawson's Point to carry "adventure tourists" across the Brazos River to a ropes activity course.  The park has enjoyed a Renaissance in the past 10 years, culminating the in the 100 Anniversary Celebration of the Dedication of the Park in 2010.  The residents around the park fervently oppose the zipline project because it is commercial, for-profit enterprise that would violate the deed restrictions for the park and would further destroy the natural beauty of the park setting.  For more information, or to voice your concerns about the zipline project, visit the Friends of Cameron Park website.
www.FriendsofCameronPark.com

For a humorous parody of Ziplining, see South Park, season 16, episode 6, "I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining."

North Dakota - Strange Law

Recently, WDAY News 6 published a report on a law that has lingered too long on the books of North Dakota.  According to the news article, a viable defense to the shooting of a Native American is that shooting occurred while on a covered wagon.  I have not found the source of this "law."  If you know, or have other strange laws, post a comment.

Spring Fox

I have not yet seen the painted bunting this year, but the grey fox is out.

Ai Wei-Wei: Artist's Art of Living Live

Ai Wei-Wei under self imposed surveillance

In response to the constant surveillance by the Chinese government, Ai Wei-Wei has installed webcams in his studio streaming the artist's life onto the web live.  The site, weiweicam.com is currently down.  I suspect this is the result of the international news coverage and a world population addicted to reality television. 

Since we were recently on the topic of Damien Hirst, here is the link to his live studiocam.

Hirst's Studio - 4/4/12 - 8:00am CST

Damien Hirst - Old World Death, New World Style

The (not so young) Young British Artist Damien Hirst is being honored with a  retrospective of his work at the Tate Modern.  In the 1990s, Hirst exemplified British avant garde art.  The most famous work was a shark suspended in a vat of formaldehyde.  As can been seen in the Tate show, death is the recurring theme.  Like the encrusted skulls of the Aztecs, Hirst created a modern Bling version with rhinestones.  This Aztec skull is at the British Museum, while Hirst's "For Love of God" is at the Tate.

Aztec Mask, British Museum

"For Love of God" biting Hirst

Dock Rules - No Diving

The severe drought in Texas has left many lakes with little water.  But, the simple rules of water safety still apply.

Lake Buchanan, March 2012