Popemobile + Stag Party = Indulgences

Family Guy "Holy Crap" episode

Once described as "very discreet, very noble," the popemobile used by John Paul II is available for rent the next time you visit Dublin.  The National Wax Museum in Dublin Ireland has purchased and re-purposed the iconic popemobile for "special events."  The features of this popemobile include: Pope chair, 15 additional seats, sizable windows, and a "bessing" balcony.  The original 1979 Ford popemobile included silk carpet. I suspect that the new owners have replaced the flooring with something easier to clean.  Prior to the sacrament of marriage, this is the ideal platform to host a memorable bachelor bash. With an optional confessional, you can rent the popemobile for $480/night.  For a history of the popemobile, check out this site.

Popemobile for Rent

1979 Popemobile with Pope

Running at the Edge

If you are looking for a little International recognition as a long distance runner, you might have to step up your game.  Competitors at the 2011 Virgin London Marathon set a number of new World records.  Here are a few:

• Fastest marathon in an animal costume
• Fastest marathon dressed as a book character
• Fastest marathon dressed as a fairy (male & female)
• Fastest marathon dressed as a nun
• Fastest marathon wearing a gas mask
• Most rubik's cubes solved while running a marathon

Is It April 15th!?... #@*!!*!@*!!

Happy Birthday Leonardo! You would
have loved the 21st century.

It is Leonardo da Vinci's birthday (1452) today and I forgot to send a card.

• It is also the birthday of the golden arches of McDonald's in 1955.
• It is DNA Day over at the National Human Genome Research Institute where they have a live chatroom discussion of DNA all day today.
• April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day, the yearly celebration of Sir Joseph Priestly's invention on this day in 1770.   As a side note, Priestly also invented a process for carbonating water in 1767.
• And, today is Pay Your !@#$@#@@ Taxes Day in the U.S.
• That is one reason this is also National That Sucks Day... along with the fact that this is the day Abraham Lincoln died (1865) and the Titanic sank (1912).

Time for a Career Change? Try Goblin Law

The legal market is not what it used to be, but how do you know when it is time to expand your practice into other areas... such as Goblin Law.  According to Professor Pulsinelli at the University of Tennessee intellectual property law and Goblin Law have much in common.  In the Muggle world, if you buy a car, you own it.  For Goblins, the key question is "Who made the car?"  If the answer is "Ragnuk the Goblin," you might be careful when lending your keys.  Property rights for Goblins begin and end with the creator.  A buyer of the object only has possessory rights that, at best, last for one's life.

For more insight into the legal complexities of the Goblin Law, check out "The Law & Harry Potter."

"Plonk?" You may not know the difference

Can you tell the difference between an expensive bottle of wine and "Plonk?"  At the 2011 Edinburgh Science Fair, participants in a blind taste test selected the cheap bottle of wine 50% of the time.  What does this really tell us? If you are a Scottish scientist, you may be paying too much for your wine.  The real question is whether they can tell the difference between an 18 year-old Glenlivet and Jim Beam's 8-Star.

Posner and Hamlet Revisited

Judge Posner has toyed with Hamlet in the past.  In Palmer v. Circuit Court of Cook County, Ill., 117 F. 3d 351, the Good Judge used Hamlet to explain away the Catch-22 of the Americans with Disabilities Act. If a person's mental illness causes that person behave as a mentally ill person, such as threatening to kill someone, his employer can fire him for acting like a mentally ill person, but the employer cannot fire the person for being mentally ill. In other words, you can be mentally ill, but you cannot act as if you are mentally ill.

Judge Posner explains:
The cause of the threat was, we may assume, her mental illness — as when Hamlet said, apologizing to Laertes, "Was't Hamlet wrong'd Laertes? Never Hamlet./ If Hamlet from himself be ta'en away,/ And when he's not himself does wrong Laertes,/ Then Hamlet does it not; Hamlet denies it./ Who does it then? His madness." Hamlet, Act V, sc. ii, ll. 229-233. But if an employer fires an employee because of the employee's unacceptable behavior, the fact that that behavior was precipitated by a mental illness does not present an issue under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

If you still don't understand, then it is time to take up the book and read.
     "They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly.
     "No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried.
     "Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked.
     "They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone."
     "And what difference does that make?"
                Catch - 22

To Be or Not To Be Insane?

SCOTUS Mock Trial Mocks Mocking Posner

Chief Justice Kennedy sat as judge over a recent mock trial of Hamlet at the University of Southern California.  Hamlet, on trial for murder, sought to hide behind the curtains of an insanity defense.  Apparently two of the twelve jurors bought the "I am but mad north-north-west" line.  But I ask you, could an insane person truly "know a hawk from a handsaw" whether it came by a southerly wind or not?

Alas, poor Rehnquist, I knew him.
A fellow of infinite fairness in
assigning opinions.

Judge Posner of the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals did not take kindly to the literary charades of the Chief Justice.  According to the Wall Street Journal, Judge Posner could be heard muttering to himself, "Seems, Chief Justice!, nay it is.  I know not seems. That's the problem with presidents and Supreme Court justices and billionaires.  They think that because they are successful in one sphere they're experts in everything."

Confronted with the condemnation of Judge Posner, Justice Ruth Gertrude Ginsburg queried, "What have I done, that thou darest wag thy tongue in noise so rude against me? He is an odd person to say that."

What Lawyers, and Clients, can learn from Mr. Gruber

Judge's Bench Pub in Baltimore
"Where you are always guilty
of having a good time."

Here are some tips garnered from Mr. Gruber's recent visit to the Sullivan County Court in  New York.

1. When asked to appear before court for a DWI charge, do not show up late.
2. Ask the court for a recess if you need to finish drinking your beer.
3. Store your extra beers in your car, not under your chair in a black bag.  That makes the bailiff nervous and jealous.
4. When asked by the judge, "Did you enjoy your liquid lunch?" do not say "Yes"... say "Yes your honor."
5. Do not offer the judge a beer, especially if it is a warm can of Busch.

See the Times-Herald for a more accurate account of Mr. Gruber's visit to court.

Before the Edge - Catch, Jimmy

Since we are on the topic of Comedy, I thought I would troll the Texas Legislature for recently proposed Bills. I doubt there will ever be anything as humorous as the Bill proposing a ban on lewd cheerleading, but I can hope.  (Note:  I of course think lewd cheerleading should be discouraged... my amusement was picturing the legislative committee renting a bus to travel Texas and research lewd cheerleading.) Today has come close with the Report on HB 824, a Bill seeking "to promote fathers' involvement with their children before birth." I suspect that they mean before the birth of the child... not the father. Prenatal-patriarchy should also be encouraged.  Here are some suggested activities in which a father and his unborn child could engage (traditional father/child activities don't conjure a pleasant image):

• Reading
• Singing
• Going to the zoo
• Bugging mom
• Charades
• Watching football
• Not doing the dishes
• Pantomime 
• Sleeping on the couch
• Modern Dance - Martha Gramm

Now that I think about it, there is probably a dearth of prenatal-parenting-legislation. What other legislation do we need?

Comedy in a time of sorrow

When I was first introduced to the Decameron, my mother warned me that the stories are bawdy and inappropriate for a teenager to read.  Of course, I immediately reshelved the book and waited for another decade when I could handle "the truth."   Some zillion years later, The Spanish Medievalist and I are now teaching Boccaccio to teenagers.  The Medievalist tells the Freshman BICers the same thing.  "These stories involve adult situations, inappropriate for a young audience.  Read the few stories we have screened, but DO NOT read anything else in the book."  

Sex overshadows the story... the META-story.  And, I guess that is the point.  The interlocutors tell stories to each other to forget about the fact that friends and family have died from an unprecedented out-break of the Plague.  There was not only the sorrow of death, but a tremendous fear... no one knew why or how people were dying.  This is how Boccaccio begins the Decameron:

I say, then, that in the year 1348 after the Son of God's fruitful incarnation, into the distinguished city of Florence, that most beautiful of Italian cities, there entered a deadly pestilence. Whether one believes that it came through the influence of the heavenly bodies or that God, justly angered by our iniquities, sent it for our correction, in any case it had begun several years earlier in the east and killed an innumerable mass of people, spreading steadily from place to place and growing as it moved west.  No human wisdom or provision was of any help.

So, in light of this (and the suffering in Japan and Libya today), I ask you why do we seek out humor and comedy in times of great suffering?

List-Day Wednesday = Superpowers

List-Day Wednesday went on holiday last week.  I was on a death march through Northern Italy and had only sporadic access to the Internet.  The grueling nature of travel (and my recent research on Mr. Magnet) inspired some fantasies about possessing the power to travel instantly from location to another.  If the Power of Transport is more than a mere mortal could handle, the simple power of "Instant First-Class Upgrades" would be much appreciated.  


The topic of superpowers is timeless (the ability to move through time would be cool).  Where there is a great power, there is both a good and bad use of that power.  The Ring of Gyges, granting the ability to turn invisible, provoked  such a discussion between Socrates and Glaucon.  Could you resist the temptation to satisfy your desires if you had the ability to be evil without consequence or punishment?

Ultivac, the forgotten supervillain, had the
power of telepathy... I would not want to
know what other people are thinking.

So, for this List-Day Wednesday, the topic is: What superpowers would you want to have?


As with any group project, a few rules are needed.  There will be a topic.  As far as the length of the list, I have given this some thought.  A list of One, is not a list.  Two to a list is too harsh: only first and last place.  The minimum entries shall be Three, and Three it shall be.  For the sake of brevity, Five will be the max.


Here is my list:
1) The power of instant transport (see above reference to the Italy death march)
2) The power of perfect espresso (this is probably a power that I will tire of quickly, but right now, in Waco, it seems very important)
3) The power to speak all languages (this would have prevented our being lost in Italy and the hostility that arose with our bus driver)

From Magnet Man to Mr. Gecko

There are superpowers that can save the world, and there are superpowers that we don't really need.  A curious story has surfaced in Serbia regarding a man with the power of magnetism.  This superhuman trait gives Miroslav Mandic the power to attach spoons and coins to his body and to change the television station remotely.  Despite concerns that non-ferrous materials are "magnetically" attracted to his body, there is great local enthusiasm for his abilities.  

Miroslav is not the first "magnet man."  In 2008, a story was published about Liew Thow Lin, better known as "Mr. Magnet" of Malaysia.  Liew Thow's "magnetic" skin is so powerful that he can pull a car with a chain stuck to his body. 

Scientists have determined that Liew Thow is not actually a human magnet, but that his skin has great sucking ability.  Apparently Mr. Magnet's skin acts like suction cups, similar to feet of lizards.  

Who is Baby Gaga?

Since we are on the topic of Milk....


What happens when Anthony Burgess collides with Ayn Rand?  Human Milk Ice Cream.


Milk is a bitter, sweet commodity in Waco.  Since Waco is a great place to "raise your kids," there is a high demand for milk.  But due to the enormous dairy farms up-river from Waco, the City's water is polluted.   The water tastes funny. This is an old gripe and the City of Waco has done much to improve the water quality by installing new treatment facilities.  There is also a 10 year legal battle with the dairy farmers seeking to explain that, despite our love of milk, we do not love the poop from cows, especially when it is washed into the river we share.  

What can we do next.  A creamery in Covent Garden offers this alternative.  Women, produce your own milk.  At Icecreamist you can buy a cup of Baby Gaga (the name says it all), the "organic, free-range, and totally natural" human breast milk ice cream.  A quote from Icecreamist's owner, Matt O'Connor, sums up the business model best, "No-one's done anything interesting with ice cream in the last hundred years."

UPDATE:  The article from the BBC cited above was published yesterday.  Just a few hours ago, it was reported that the local authorities have stepped in and taken all of the Baby Gaga for themselves.  

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