US Congress Cures Mental Illness: Lunatics Outlawed

If you are worried that the US legislature is ineffective and crippled by bi-partisan politics, then you are in for a surprise.  The House and Senate have overwhelmingly passed a bill which outlaws "lunatics."  Assuming that President Obama signs this legislation, no more shall the American people be burdened with lunatics. Fortunately, this has passed just in time for Christmas, a time plagued with mental illness in many forms: depression, anxiety, hoarding, delusions of grandeur, hearing voices from on high, stories of an overgrown elf culling bad children from the good, visions of sugar plums...

"It was a heart warming show of bipartisan camaraderie, and not in the Russia, communist sense," said one freshman Republican representative's aid.

"A miracle occurred today, one that rivals the Christmas story... or the Hanukkah lights... or the Kwanzaa Story, whatever that is... But, I am not saying one religious holiday story is better than another, and I am definitely not saying that this legislation is a religion.  I am just offering a simile, you know, like in the English class I took at UCLA... and it was like a miracle I survived that class.  That is a dangerous campus,"  said an aid for an unnamed Democrat representative from California.

One representative from Texas opposed this bill, Louie Gohmert.  "This is a states' rights issue.  Washington cannot step into the Sovereign State of Texas and cure our mentally ill if we don't want it.  Texas is a place where lunatics are free to be lunatics, as long as they are not gay," said the Texas representative's third cousin, twice removed.

"Take My Snake" you *$%$@ politicians

Instead of paying the bribes demanded of them, two North Indian farmers deposited three bags of snakes on the floor of the local tax office. As a protest against endemic government corruption, Hukkul Khan and Ramkul Ram (a local snake charmer) collected together more than 40 snakes, including 4 cobras, and then delivered the snakes to the tax office in Basti.  Office workers described the scene as "absolute chaos"... snakes crawling and climbing everywhere.  Snakes are a serious problem in India, even when they have not been angered and dumped in front of helpless functionaries.  The American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene estimates that nearly 46,000 people in India die each year from snake bites.

If Ai Wei-wei can do it, so can I...

Sunset over the Atlantic.

After a long detention, activist Asian artist Ai Wei re-emerged from his social media silence to say, "Greetings, I am here." 
Since June 24, 2011, Waco has experienced the following:
- Record Heat: 44 days straight of over 100F temp.
- Federal hearing on another person trying to injure Ft. Hood soldiers
- $150,000 grant to Salvation Army to help homeless veterans
- Dwight Yokum performed at the Cattle Baron's Ball
- Baylor student was detained in India for having a bullet in her bag

Over the Edge - Huffington & O'Rourke

Is our government ungovernable?  

Or something like that was the topic in a recent Intelligence Squared Debate.  The topic was less important and interesting than the contestants.  On one side, arguing that the US government is ungovernable, was Arianna Huffington (yes, the Huffington Post Huffington).  On the other side was P. J. O'Rourke, the guy who said "Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys" and wrote such books as "Eat the Rich" and "Don't Vote, It Just Encourages the Bastards."

The best line from the debate:

Arianna Huffington, "Well, the idea that it’s dumb kids that are the problem is just charming P.J. I mean, whatever P.J. says, he's charming because he's funny. But it's not true."

You can relive the debate.  You may learning nothing new about American politics, but you will be well entertained.

Recent Rodent News

In case you were lamenting the absence of high speed public transport in central Texas, you can at least be thankful that you do not have to travel with rodents.  This is good for you and the rats, according to a 1976 study conducted by the Brooklyn College of Pharmacy.  "Rats with high blood pressure should not ride the subways too often or too long: the stress of noise, vibration, and crowding may kill some of them before their time." (I have not yet found the study, but many enthusiastically quote the study.)  Other studies have found that subway rats live in the walls of the subway, not the subway itself; that a rat can survive a 40' fall and keep running; and that they can jump 2' from a running start.  Such insights have led the former director of NY's Pest Control Services to conclude: "We’re no match for them, as far as I’m concerned. Man does not stand no chance.”
In other Rodent News, the $5 million restoration of the DC Superior Court building did all except rid the place of rats.  Hmm.

Why was your Professor arrested?

At Valdosta State University, Frank Rybicki was arrested for shutting a student's laptop on her fingers.  According to Rybicki, the student was using the laptop non-class related entertainment.  Students commenting on the article published on the Spectator's website tend to side with the professor, saying that using your computer for social media during class should not be tolerated.

In high school, we had out headmaster arrested... but it was part of a fundraiser.  Money collected for his bail was donated to a good cause.

Here are some other reasons a university professor might be arrested:

In Florida, a professor was arrested for carrying a suspicious bagel onto a plane.
In Georgia, a professor was arrested for stripping naked in front of his class.
In Massachusetts, a black professor was arrested as a possible burglar when he entered his own home.

Art on the Edge in China

Over the weekend, contemporary art in China made two headlines.

Forever Lasting Love, Zhang Ziaogang

First, a 1988 painting by Zhang Ziaogang set a new record at Sotheby's by selling for $10,180,000.00.  The painting is entitled Forever Lasting Love. 

Second, Ai Weiwei, China's most famous contemporary artist, has been detained by Chinese authorities at the Beijing airport. Because of his public criticism of China for continued violations of human rights, Ai Weiwei has frequently been the target of government crackdowns. Ai Weiwei is best known for his work in helping design the Bird's Nest stadium at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.  This past year, his 100,000,000 sunflower seeds have been on display at the Tate Modern in London.

UPDATE ON Ai Weiwei: Despite the fact that China has not acknowledged detaining artist Ai Weiwei, France and Germany have called for his release.

Ai Weiwei at the Tate Modern.

Moon Expanding rapidly... perhaps will explode

Well, I am getting carried away by the sensationalism that is ubiquitous in the media.  The article in the Waco Tribune-Hearld starts "Super full moon to rise tonight... It'll be bigger and brighter."  Returning to reality, the next paragraph explains that the super-giant-exploding moon is merely an optical illusion.

From Magnet Man to Mr. Gecko

There are superpowers that can save the world, and there are superpowers that we don't really need.  A curious story has surfaced in Serbia regarding a man with the power of magnetism.  This superhuman trait gives Miroslav Mandic the power to attach spoons and coins to his body and to change the television station remotely.  Despite concerns that non-ferrous materials are "magnetically" attracted to his body, there is great local enthusiasm for his abilities.  

Miroslav is not the first "magnet man."  In 2008, a story was published about Liew Thow Lin, better known as "Mr. Magnet" of Malaysia.  Liew Thow's "magnetic" skin is so powerful that he can pull a car with a chain stuck to his body. 

Scientists have determined that Liew Thow is not actually a human magnet, but that his skin has great sucking ability.  Apparently Mr. Magnet's skin acts like suction cups, similar to feet of lizards.  

Who is Baby Gaga?

Since we are on the topic of Milk....


What happens when Anthony Burgess collides with Ayn Rand?  Human Milk Ice Cream.


Milk is a bitter, sweet commodity in Waco.  Since Waco is a great place to "raise your kids," there is a high demand for milk.  But due to the enormous dairy farms up-river from Waco, the City's water is polluted.   The water tastes funny. This is an old gripe and the City of Waco has done much to improve the water quality by installing new treatment facilities.  There is also a 10 year legal battle with the dairy farmers seeking to explain that, despite our love of milk, we do not love the poop from cows, especially when it is washed into the river we share.  

What can we do next.  A creamery in Covent Garden offers this alternative.  Women, produce your own milk.  At Icecreamist you can buy a cup of Baby Gaga (the name says it all), the "organic, free-range, and totally natural" human breast milk ice cream.  A quote from Icecreamist's owner, Matt O'Connor, sums up the business model best, "No-one's done anything interesting with ice cream in the last hundred years."

UPDATE:  The article from the BBC cited above was published yesterday.  Just a few hours ago, it was reported that the local authorities have stepped in and taken all of the Baby Gaga for themselves.  

It is all in your HEADline

More often than not, the best part of a news story is its headline.  With the sophistication of contemporary marketers, that is not surprising.  For example, checkout-line tabloids are only headlines.  After "President Obama's illegitimate child has the head of a lizard," what else do you want to know?  What else is there to know about the topic of lizard babies?  Even "reputable" rags have innocently delved into headline-mania.  Today on the BBC News website are the following HEADlines:

German Trucker Incest Trial Opens

Why Is Alcohol Consumption Falling?  (good question)

'Nuclear Virus' Targets Found

The Meaning of 'Bunga Bunga'