If you are worried that the US legislature is ineffective and crippled by bi-partisan politics, then you are in for a surprise. The House and Senate have overwhelmingly passed a bill which outlaws "lunatics." Assuming that President Obama signs this legislation, no more shall the American people be burdened with lunatics. Fortunately, this has passed just in time for Christmas, a time plagued with mental illness in many forms: depression, anxiety, hoarding, delusions of grandeur, hearing voices from on high, stories of an overgrown elf culling bad children from the good, visions of sugar plums..."It was a heart warming show of bipartisan camaraderie, and not in the Russia, communist sense," said one freshman Republican representative's aid.
"A miracle occurred today, one that rivals the Christmas story... or the Hanukkah lights... or the Kwanzaa Story, whatever that is... But, I am not saying one religious holiday story is better than another, and I am definitely not saying that this legislation is a religion. I am just offering a simile, you know, like in the English class I took at UCLA... and it was like a miracle I survived that class. That is a dangerous campus," said an aid for an unnamed Democrat representative from California.
One representative from Texas opposed this bill, Louie Gohmert. "This is a states' rights issue. Washington cannot step into the Sovereign State of Texas and cure our mentally ill if we don't want it. Texas is a place where lunatics are free to be lunatics, as long as they are not gay," said the Texas representative's third cousin, twice removed.
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