Record Warhol Auction: Eight Figures for Triple Elvis

You ain't nothin' but a millin'aire...

The Triple Elvis, black and white, sold yesterday at auction for $82 million. Only half as much is Pollock's No 5 (adjusted for 2014 dollars).

A Toast to Dwiggins

Dwiggins, 1905 Toast

I only recently discovered the illustrator Clare Victor Dwiggins, better know as "Dwig."  At the Friends of the Waco Library Book Sale, one of the largest such book sales in the South, my mother-in-law purchased a 1905 book of toasts by Dwiggins.  Being a collector of vintage barware and old cocktail books, books of toasts intrigue me. Quips, quotes, and trite toasts seem to be relics of the past... at least at the parties I attend.

"Here is to love, the only fire against which there is no insurance." 

 Great toast, but no longer true.  You and your love of your life can buy "marriage insurance." (try the divorce probability calculator)  

But better than the bons mots are the illustrations.  The postcards by Dwig capture an age of innocent romanticism, with decked out dames blowing kisses and riding bratwursts.  The illustrations often include timeless words of wisdom, for example, "Never do anybody unless you do 'em good."

Hotel Graffiti Art: Tilt = "Yes"; Qandeel "No"

Abdullah Qandeel's The Enemy Within, sold for $209k

Although Abdullah Qandeel's paintings sell for over $200,000 at auction, his graffiti remains unappreciated.  October 31, 2014, Qandeel and his "studio" engaged in graffiti performance art in the penthouse of the 6 Columbus Hotel in NYC.  The management did not appreciate his contribution to the hotel's art collection.  Seeing the paint covered artist and his "scantily clad" apprentices, the staff promptly called the police and had him arrested.

There is a precedent for "hanging" your art and tagging hotel rooms.  Banksy famously installed his own painting (with plaque) in the Brooklyn Museum of art.  The Au Vieux Panie hotel in Marseille commissioned graffiti artist Tilt (see prior entry) and they were tickled pink/yellow/blue when he only painted half of the room.

6 Columbus cannot unwind the rushed arrest of Qandeel, but they have a great opportunity to make amends by hiring him and his studio to decorate a matching room.  Embrace art, live art!

Abdullah Qandeel

The Devil, Herman's Hermits, and Herman the Recluse

What do Herman's Hermits have in common with Herman the Recluse?  Jezebel and the devil.

Herman's Hermits singing Jezebel (1966)

"If ever a devil was born

Without a pair of horns

It was you, Jezebel, it was you!

If ever a pair of eyes

Promised paradise

It was you, Jezebel, it was you!

If ever a devil's plan

Was made to torment man

Decieving me

Grieving me

Leaving me blue

Jezebel, it was you!"

Gigas Codex, 13th Century

Herman the Recluse, an apocryphal Benedictine monk at the 13th century monastery of Podlažice, is the putative author of the Gigas Codex.  The giant tome, hand crafted from 160 baby cows (or maybe donkeys), contains the Vulgate, the Chronicle of Prague, and a large drawing of the devil.  Thus, the manuscript is lovingly known as "The Devil's Bible," leading many a wayward soul to study this book in search of necromancy, only to find another dusty transcription of the Bible in latin.

  

Jezebel of course makes her appearance in the Third Book of Kings, 16:31.  

Frankie Laine, the composer of Jezebel, often wrote of the devilish femme fatal: Swamp Girl, Satan Wears a Satin Gown.  Although Frankie Laine's Satan wore a satin dress, Herman the Recluse's Satan wore polka-dot undies, more akin to Paul Vance and Lee Pockriss' "Yellow Polka Dot Bikini." 

Long Road to Texas Independence

The Eagle shows the territory of US in 1833,
after the Adams-Onis Treaty

In 1819, the United States formally abandoned any claim to the territory of Texas through the Adams-Onis Treaty.  That treaty upset many US citizens in Louisiana and Mississippi who believed that the territory conveyed in the Louisiana Purchase (1803) include parts of East Texas.  James Long of Natchez,  Mississippi was particularly pissed.  In June of 1819, Long and Eli Harris led an "expedition" to Nacogdoches, New Spain. Thanks to the fact that rapid mass troop transport had not yet been invented, Long and Harris successfully established the first (?) Republic of Texas. On the noble side of the revolution, the citizens of the Long Republic promoted religious freedom, tolerance and freedom of the press. On the more traditional side of revolutions, each member of the "expedition" received 10 acres of land for their sacrifice.  Long attempted to enlist the assistance of pirate Jean Lafitte, promising to appointment Lafitte governor of Galveston.  What did Long learn?  Don't trust pirates.  After accepting the governorship, Lafitte "traded" the information about Long's revolution to the Spanish who had not yet realized that a small portion of the empire had been usurped.  Shortly thereafter, 500 Spanish troops arrived at Galveston and drove Long and his expedition back to Louisiana.  The Long Republic lasted four months.  The flag of the Long Republic was red with a single white star in the middle.

A Switch for Switchblade Enthusiasts in Texas

Miniature switchblade necklace, $39.99

The 83rd Texas Legislature passed House Bill 1862 which decriminalizes the possession, manufacture, repairing, transporting, and selling of switchblade knives. In a sober moment, the Legislature refrained from decriminalizing brass knuckles and "tire deflation devices."

Fredonia or Petoria: The Flag Makes the Nation

Flag of Fredonia 1825-1826

In April of 1825, Hayden Edwards received a grant from the districts of Texas and Coahuila (districts of Mexico) to colonize the area of Nacogdoches with 800 families.  Edwards began to promote and organize the colony with his brother B. W. Edwards.  As a condition of the grant, Edwards had to honor any prior grants of land in his settlement territory.  This led to a vetting of prior settlers in the area to determine who had a legitimate land claim, a contentious process which sparked a feud between Edwards and the Mexican government. Those who lost their land appealed to the regional Mexican authorities.  Empresario Stephen F. Austin attempted to quench the rebellious tendencies of Hayden Edwards. In a letter to Edwards, Austin wrote, "The truth is, you do not understand the nature of the authority with which you are vested by the government, and it is my candid opinion that a continuance of the imprudent course you have commenced will totally ruin you, and materially injure all the new settlements." The truth was that Edwards envied and despised Austin. So, being told by Austin that he should know his place probably pushed Edwards to secede from Mexico. The irony of this is that Austin would eventually mount his own rebellion, successfully establishing the Republic of Texas. In preparation for the secession, Hayden signed a treaty with the local Cherokee Indians (represented by the red band in the flag) and declared independence from Mexico on December 21, 1826. Assisted by Stephen F. Austin (and the Cherokee Indians), the Mexican government forcibly suppressed the rebellion, which ended on January 31, 1827. (more info on Fredonia) After fleeing to Louisiana, Hayden Edwards returned to Texas during the Texas Revolution and settled in Nacogdoches. Hayden Edwards died within the territory of his colony in 1849.

Flag of Petoria

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Nacogdoches: Old Town with Deep Roots in Texas

1885 picture of the Old Stone Fort in Nacogdoches

In the summer of 1779, Spain designated the community around the mission of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe de los Nacogdoches a "pueblo."  Older than the six flags of Texas, the town of Nacogdoches claims that it has flown flags of nine nationalities: Spain, France, Mexico, Republic of Texas, United States, Confederate States, and the forgotten Magee-Gutierrez Republic, Long Republic, and the Fredonian Republic.

Cool Off on Labor Day with a Moscow Mule

As with the most noble drinks (martini, mint julep, and the flaming volcano) the Moscow Mule has its own serving glass, the copper cup.  Despite the name, the Moscow Mule is a West Coast creation, just like Labor day itself.  Oregon, on February 21,1887, passed the first legislation honoring the hard work of American laborers.  Fifth-four years later, John Martin and Jack Morgan claimed that they invented the drink at their bar in Hollywood.  That may be Cock-n-Bull -- the bartender at the Cock-n-Bull Wes Price claimed that he was the true inventor of the drink.

   Here is the Recipe:

   1 part Vodka

   3 parts ginger beer

   1 tsp. sugar

   Squeeze of a lime wedge

   Garnish with mint and lime slice

Anniversary of the Confirmation of Thurgood Marshall to SCOTUS

Telegram from Martin Luther King, Jr. to Thurgood Marshall, June 13, 1967.

On June 12, 1967, Justice Tom C.Clark (native Texan and graduate of the law school at University of Texas) announced his retirement from the United States Supreme Court.  Earlier in the year, President Lyndon B. Johnson (also a native of Texas) appointed Justice Clark's son, Ramsey Clark, to serve as Attorney General. The potential father - son / judicial branch - executive branch conflict prompted Justice Clark to step down from the bench.  On the way down, Justice Clark enthusiastically advocated for the appointment of Thurgood Marshall, then solicitor general, as his replacement.  As retold by President Johnson, Justice Clark predicted that "the President would appoint someone who will fill my shoes to overflowing and possibly break them open."  After an unusually long delay (although not by today's standards), the Senate confirmed the appointment with a vote of 69 to 11.

Kongming: Ominous Omen or Pyrotechnic Phantasm

A good science project for kids and adults alike is creating a Sky Lantern.  But, with burn bans throughout most of Texas, this project should remain in its conceptual stage... EXTREME FIRE HAZARD, and the remains of the lantern are harmful to English cattle and sheep.

The Sky Lantern (or Kongming Lantern) is basically a small hot air balloon. The apocryphal origin of the sky lantern goes all the way back to the famous Chinese military strategist Zhuge Liang (also known by his honorific title of Kongming, 180–234 AD) who used the lanterns in the battle field to scare superstitious enemies.  Other inventions attributed to Zhuge Liang include landmines (could have done without those) and the repeating cross bow.

Zhuge Liang (more info) wrote down his philosophy of combat in a book which roughly translates to Thirty-Six Stratagems.  This is not to be confused with Robert Green's 48 Laws of Power, which is the second most popular book in American prisons.  Instead of catch phrases like "Crush your enemy totally!," which sounds like the maniacal rants of Steven who fishes everyday down by the river, Zhuge Liang offers more mysterious mantras.  Consider the following:
1) Deceive the Heavens to cross the Ocean.
12) Take the opportunity to pilfer a goat.
14) Borrow a corpse to resurrect a soul.

US Congress Cures Mental Illness: Lunatics Outlawed

If you are worried that the US legislature is ineffective and crippled by bi-partisan politics, then you are in for a surprise.  The House and Senate have overwhelmingly passed a bill which outlaws "lunatics."  Assuming that President Obama signs this legislation, no more shall the American people be burdened with lunatics. Fortunately, this has passed just in time for Christmas, a time plagued with mental illness in many forms: depression, anxiety, hoarding, delusions of grandeur, hearing voices from on high, stories of an overgrown elf culling bad children from the good, visions of sugar plums...

"It was a heart warming show of bipartisan camaraderie, and not in the Russia, communist sense," said one freshman Republican representative's aid.

"A miracle occurred today, one that rivals the Christmas story... or the Hanukkah lights... or the Kwanzaa Story, whatever that is... But, I am not saying one religious holiday story is better than another, and I am definitely not saying that this legislation is a religion.  I am just offering a simile, you know, like in the English class I took at UCLA... and it was like a miracle I survived that class.  That is a dangerous campus,"  said an aid for an unnamed Democrat representative from California.

One representative from Texas opposed this bill, Louie Gohmert.  "This is a states' rights issue.  Washington cannot step into the Sovereign State of Texas and cure our mentally ill if we don't want it.  Texas is a place where lunatics are free to be lunatics, as long as they are not gay," said the Texas representative's third cousin, twice removed.

"Houston, Are We There Yet?"

We all know the experience.  We pack, get in the car, and set out on a road trip vacation.  Thirty minutes later (if we are lucky), we are FINALLY reaching the last suburb before exiting urban sprawl and entering the wide-open country.  Same problem with space travel.  35 years, 2 months and 22 days after launch, the nimble Voyager 1 spacecraft has entered the last suburb of out solar system before reaching wide-open interstellar space.  "This may be the last opportunity for fuel and a restroom break before entering the space between solar systems," said an unnamed Jet Propulsion Lab employee.  Voyager 1 is a little over 123 AUs (astronomical units) or 11.4 billion miles away from Earth.  The new zone into which Voyager entered is described as a "magnetic highway."  "Traffic has thinned out and in another couple of years, as long as the Russian Department of Transportation does not get involved, Voyager should be outside our solar city," said another unnamed, non-existent employee of JPL.

Ukraine to Italy: Your Prime Minister is Worse Than Mine

Silvio Berlusconi

 A spat has erupted between Gianni Alemanno, mayor of Rome, and Gennady Kernes, mayor of Kharkiv, over the mistreatment of their respective prime ministers.  Alemanno began the fight by plastering on city hall a huge poster protesting the incarceration of Yulia Tymoshenko.  Rome, throw no stones if you live in a glass bonga bonga house.  Kernes responded in kind with a giant poster of Silvio "you're not too young" Berlusconi escaping from jail.

Yulia Tymoshenko

Punishment Reform: Shame Masks

Verboten in modern schools, use of a Schandmaske (shame mask) was a common form of behavior modification in Medieval Europe.  The theme of the mask often metaphorically represented the reproachful behavior.  For those ill-mannered, expect to wear of metal pig head.  For those who talk out of turn or gossip, expect a mask with a giant tongue.  Scotland and England employed a scold's bridle or "brank" as a similar form of punishment.  The brank included a bit that was forced into the mouth of the wayward woman who had cursed, practiced witchcraft, or nagged.

Texas Collection: Maps of Waco

City of Waco, Texas 1886 - Town Square

The Texas Collection at Baylor (one of the top special collection libraries) has on display maps of  Waco, Texas from the 1845 through 1913.  The maps show the heyday of Waco on the Brazos, a time when the city was poised to become a prominent community in the state of Texas.  Here is the link to the digital exhibit.

Olsen, Pal of Superman

Action Comics No. 6

When I think of Superman/Clark Kent, I think of Jimmy Olsen, the "almost, but not quite" character.  A Norwegian lost in Metropolis, Olsen is loyal and good at heart.  (Olsen = Son of Ole, link to Ole jokes)  He is vulnerable because he wants to be more than a mere photojournalist, sidekick, "pal" to superman.  Also, he is a red head.  Jimmy first appears in Action Comics No. 6 as an "office boy," whatever that means in 1938.  It is a strange episode in which Lois inadvertently tries to date rape Superman by drugging Clark Kent so she can meet up later with Superman.  In 1938, rohypnol did not phase the man-of-steel.  The "office boy" was not named until 1940 in the Adventures of Superman radio show.  Superman could be the solitary existentialist in illustrated print, but on the air Superman/Clark Kent needed someone to talk with, so the "office boy" gained a name and a voice.  The first voice of Jimmy Olsen was Jack Grimes (1926-2009).  Fewer and fewer remember the Grimes' Jimmy Olsen, but even I (must) remember his voice as Spritle and Sparky in the anime classic Speed Racer.

The Adventures of Superman Radio Show

UCLA: Most Dangerous College Campus

Learn Forensics at Home.

Business Insider's list of Most Dangerous Colleges ranks UCLA at the top based on current FBI Data.  Relying on just campus crime data collected by the US Department of Education under the Clery Act, Howard University and Yale top the list as most dangerous.  Despite being a paradise of beaches, sun, and glamor, California is host to 5 of the 25 most dangerous campuses in the United States.

Eager students wanting to take advantage of crime ridden campuses for their forensic science degrees can check out the Crime Scene University series produced by Penn State.

UPDATE - Kim Jong-Un Cheat Sheet & Bogus Sexy Cop

Since the original post, new information has been released about the international mystery-man Kim Jong-Un.  Most importantly, Supreme Leader Un has been honored with the "Sexiest Man Alive" award from the Onion Global Media Center.  This nobel honor has been enthusiastically seconded by the Peoples Daily of China who ran a 55 page spread on the youthful leader of North Korea.

Sexy Cop Wang

The honor of Kim Jong-Un is overshadowed only by the story on the Bogus Sexy Cop, Lin Wang.  Everyone knows that there are no sexy Chinese cops, so Lin Wang's blog posts about being forced to dine with government officials were quickly identified as "cheating and bluffing," a savage crime warranting jail time.  Fortunately, the kinder, gentler side of the Fengtai district court prevailed, permitting Wang's jail sentence to be suspended in exchange for a slap on the wrist.