US Congress Cures Mental Illness: Lunatics Outlawed

If you are worried that the US legislature is ineffective and crippled by bi-partisan politics, then you are in for a surprise.  The House and Senate have overwhelmingly passed a bill which outlaws "lunatics."  Assuming that President Obama signs this legislation, no more shall the American people be burdened with lunatics. Fortunately, this has passed just in time for Christmas, a time plagued with mental illness in many forms: depression, anxiety, hoarding, delusions of grandeur, hearing voices from on high, stories of an overgrown elf culling bad children from the good, visions of sugar plums...

"It was a heart warming show of bipartisan camaraderie, and not in the Russia, communist sense," said one freshman Republican representative's aid.

"A miracle occurred today, one that rivals the Christmas story... or the Hanukkah lights... or the Kwanzaa Story, whatever that is... But, I am not saying one religious holiday story is better than another, and I am definitely not saying that this legislation is a religion.  I am just offering a simile, you know, like in the English class I took at UCLA... and it was like a miracle I survived that class.  That is a dangerous campus,"  said an aid for an unnamed Democrat representative from California.

One representative from Texas opposed this bill, Louie Gohmert.  "This is a states' rights issue.  Washington cannot step into the Sovereign State of Texas and cure our mentally ill if we don't want it.  Texas is a place where lunatics are free to be lunatics, as long as they are not gay," said the Texas representative's third cousin, twice removed.

"Houston, Are We There Yet?"

We all know the experience.  We pack, get in the car, and set out on a road trip vacation.  Thirty minutes later (if we are lucky), we are FINALLY reaching the last suburb before exiting urban sprawl and entering the wide-open country.  Same problem with space travel.  35 years, 2 months and 22 days after launch, the nimble Voyager 1 spacecraft has entered the last suburb of out solar system before reaching wide-open interstellar space.  "This may be the last opportunity for fuel and a restroom break before entering the space between solar systems," said an unnamed Jet Propulsion Lab employee.  Voyager 1 is a little over 123 AUs (astronomical units) or 11.4 billion miles away from Earth.  The new zone into which Voyager entered is described as a "magnetic highway."  "Traffic has thinned out and in another couple of years, as long as the Russian Department of Transportation does not get involved, Voyager should be outside our solar city," said another unnamed, non-existent employee of JPL.

Ukraine to Italy: Your Prime Minister is Worse Than Mine

Silvio Berlusconi

 A spat has erupted between Gianni Alemanno, mayor of Rome, and Gennady Kernes, mayor of Kharkiv, over the mistreatment of their respective prime ministers.  Alemanno began the fight by plastering on city hall a huge poster protesting the incarceration of Yulia Tymoshenko.  Rome, throw no stones if you live in a glass bonga bonga house.  Kernes responded in kind with a giant poster of Silvio "you're not too young" Berlusconi escaping from jail.

Yulia Tymoshenko

Punishment Reform: Shame Masks

Verboten in modern schools, use of a Schandmaske (shame mask) was a common form of behavior modification in Medieval Europe.  The theme of the mask often metaphorically represented the reproachful behavior.  For those ill-mannered, expect to wear of metal pig head.  For those who talk out of turn or gossip, expect a mask with a giant tongue.  Scotland and England employed a scold's bridle or "brank" as a similar form of punishment.  The brank included a bit that was forced into the mouth of the wayward woman who had cursed, practiced witchcraft, or nagged.

Texas Collection: Maps of Waco

City of Waco, Texas 1886 - Town Square

The Texas Collection at Baylor (one of the top special collection libraries) has on display maps of  Waco, Texas from the 1845 through 1913.  The maps show the heyday of Waco on the Brazos, a time when the city was poised to become a prominent community in the state of Texas.  Here is the link to the digital exhibit.

Olsen, Pal of Superman

Action Comics No. 6

When I think of Superman/Clark Kent, I think of Jimmy Olsen, the "almost, but not quite" character.  A Norwegian lost in Metropolis, Olsen is loyal and good at heart.  (Olsen = Son of Ole, link to Ole jokes)  He is vulnerable because he wants to be more than a mere photojournalist, sidekick, "pal" to superman.  Also, he is a red head.  Jimmy first appears in Action Comics No. 6 as an "office boy," whatever that means in 1938.  It is a strange episode in which Lois inadvertently tries to date rape Superman by drugging Clark Kent so she can meet up later with Superman.  In 1938, rohypnol did not phase the man-of-steel.  The "office boy" was not named until 1940 in the Adventures of Superman radio show.  Superman could be the solitary existentialist in illustrated print, but on the air Superman/Clark Kent needed someone to talk with, so the "office boy" gained a name and a voice.  The first voice of Jimmy Olsen was Jack Grimes (1926-2009).  Fewer and fewer remember the Grimes' Jimmy Olsen, but even I (must) remember his voice as Spritle and Sparky in the anime classic Speed Racer.

The Adventures of Superman Radio Show

UCLA: Most Dangerous College Campus

Learn Forensics at Home.

Business Insider's list of Most Dangerous Colleges ranks UCLA at the top based on current FBI Data.  Relying on just campus crime data collected by the US Department of Education under the Clery Act, Howard University and Yale top the list as most dangerous.  Despite being a paradise of beaches, sun, and glamor, California is host to 5 of the 25 most dangerous campuses in the United States.

Eager students wanting to take advantage of crime ridden campuses for their forensic science degrees can check out the Crime Scene University series produced by Penn State.

UPDATE - Kim Jong-Un Cheat Sheet & Bogus Sexy Cop

Since the original post, new information has been released about the international mystery-man Kim Jong-Un.  Most importantly, Supreme Leader Un has been honored with the "Sexiest Man Alive" award from the Onion Global Media Center.  This nobel honor has been enthusiastically seconded by the Peoples Daily of China who ran a 55 page spread on the youthful leader of North Korea.

Sexy Cop Wang

The honor of Kim Jong-Un is overshadowed only by the story on the Bogus Sexy Cop, Lin Wang.  Everyone knows that there are no sexy Chinese cops, so Lin Wang's blog posts about being forced to dine with government officials were quickly identified as "cheating and bluffing," a savage crime warranting jail time.  Fortunately, the kinder, gentler side of the Fengtai district court prevailed, permitting Wang's jail sentence to be suspended in exchange for a slap on the wrist.

Popemobile + Stag Party = Indulgences

Family Guy "Holy Crap" episode

Once described as "very discreet, very noble," the popemobile used by John Paul II is available for rent the next time you visit Dublin.  The National Wax Museum in Dublin Ireland has purchased and re-purposed the iconic popemobile for "special events."  The features of this popemobile include: Pope chair, 15 additional seats, sizable windows, and a "bessing" balcony.  The original 1979 Ford popemobile included silk carpet. I suspect that the new owners have replaced the flooring with something easier to clean.  Prior to the sacrament of marriage, this is the ideal platform to host a memorable bachelor bash. With an optional confessional, you can rent the popemobile for $480/night.  For a history of the popemobile, check out this site.

Popemobile for Rent

1979 Popemobile with Pope

Almax Mannequins, "I see you looking at me looking at you..."

As if the holiday shopping season were not painful enough, the mannequin manufacturer Almax, of Italy, introduced the EyeSee Mannequin which uses facial recognition software to gather data about shoppers.  As Almax proudly exclaims, "This product will do much more; it would make it possible to "observe" who is attracted by your windows and reveal important details about your customers:

Autons from Dr. Who, "Spearhead from Space"

age range; gender; race; number of people and time spent."  Almax has installed cameras in the mannequin's eyes and a computer in its torso.  By gathering data about who is looking at the mannequin, the stores hope to better market its merchandise.  What next?  Will Almax install guns in the hands of this faux humans to "protect" the store?  Mannequins are already creepy; adding the ability to secretly gather data about you when you walk past makes them dangerous.  Did no one learn about the dangers of intelligent mannequins from the Dr. Who episode "Spearhead From Space?"

Sailing Speed Record: Columbus would be spinning

The Pinta.

Sailrocket 1 going into the air.

In the days of Christopher Columbus, the Pinta would have averaged 4.6 mph with a top speed of 9 mph.  On November 24, 2012, the Sailrocket 2 (watch what happened to Sailrocket 1) the 40 ft. boat piloted by Paul Larsen (not the Medievalist), (unofficially) broke the world sailing speed record with an average speed of 74 mph and a peak speed of 77 mph.  The boat is designed for only one thing, speed.  There is no room for storage.  The boat only travels one direction... you have to use a motor boat to pull it in and out of the marina.  But, 100 years ago, it would have been inconceivable to imagine a sailboat traveling 2.5 times the speed of the wind.

Tag My Ride: JonOne paints a Rolls

On live t.v. in Paris, France, ex-patriot American graffiti artist JonOne (John Perello) spray painted a convertible Rolls Royce.  The Rolls will be auctioned off for charity on December 7, 2012.

Although JoOne received no formal art training, he is considered one of the top American artists and has been compared to mid-century artists like Pollock, de Kooning, and Dubuffet.  When JonOne moved to Paris in 1987, he began painting on more traditional substrates, like canvas.  Although this was a rejection of his famous quote, "The subway is a museum that runs through the city," his work became physically accessible to the Parisian artworld.  Since then, his reputation has expanded internationally.

Hair, Albert Camus and Liberty

Beatles, 1969

In 1969 Roger Thurston, principal of Marlboro High School in Massacuetes, suspeneded Robert Richards Jr. for wearing his hair in a style "reminiscent of the English singers called 'The Beatles.'" Richards v. Thurston, 304 F. Supp. 449, 451 (D. Mass. 1969).  Robert, through his father, filed a 1983 action against the principal seeking readmission to school.  Chief Judge Wyzanski (one of the few lawyers to study with both Hands, Nobel and Learned) kindly noted that Robert's hair, although long, was more tidy than that of Albert Einstein's.  Id.  The school did not have a written policy on hair length. Thus, it was not a difficult leap to find that young, hairy Robert was denied liberties protected by the Constitution.  Interestingly, Judge Wyzanski invoked Albert Camus's The Rebel to help explain the tension between Liberty and Order.  Without order, liberties are lost.  "Order can be defined properly only in terms of the liberties for which it exists, as liberty can be defined properly only in terms of the ordered society in which it thrives. As Albert Camus implied in The Rebel, order and liberty must find their limits in each other."  Id. at 452.   

Albert Camus

To Be Or Not To Be An Island?... That depends on Google.

For those planning a trip to the South Pacific island of Sandy this Winter (N. Hemisphere), time to ask your travel agent for a refund.  Sandy Island does not exist.  Despite being clearly identified on Google Earth and marine charts for the area, scientists recently discovered the clear and undoubtable absence of an island at Latitude 19°13'28.77"S, Longitude 159°56'35.24"E.  Scientist Dr. Seton noted that the ocean at this area is almost a mile deep, which would make the presence of an island very unlikely.  Unlike Columbus, Dr. Seton and crew set out to discover the absense of land... and they succeeded.  This undiscovery opens up a new field of scientific research into the non-existance.  Just this morning I discovered the non-existence of a second floor to my house and the absence of a Caribbean beach in my backyard.  Unsettling, yet sobering discoveries that will reshape the world in which we all live.

Friends of Cameron Park

I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining

The residents around Cameron Park in Waco, Texas have organized a group to oppose the installation of a zipline in the park.  The City of Waco is considering authorizing the installation of a 50ft. tower at Lawson's Point to carry "adventure tourists" across the Brazos River to a ropes activity course.  The park has enjoyed a Renaissance in the past 10 years, culminating the in the 100 Anniversary Celebration of the Dedication of the Park in 2010.  The residents around the park fervently oppose the zipline project because it is commercial, for-profit enterprise that would violate the deed restrictions for the park and would further destroy the natural beauty of the park setting.  For more information, or to voice your concerns about the zipline project, visit the Friends of Cameron Park website.
www.FriendsofCameronPark.com

For a humorous parody of Ziplining, see South Park, season 16, episode 6, "I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining."

North Dakota - Strange Law

Recently, WDAY News 6 published a report on a law that has lingered too long on the books of North Dakota.  According to the news article, a viable defense to the shooting of a Native American is that shooting occurred while on a covered wagon.  I have not found the source of this "law."  If you know, or have other strange laws, post a comment.

Spring Fox

I have not yet seen the painted bunting this year, but the grey fox is out.

Ai Wei-Wei: Artist's Art of Living Live

Ai Wei-Wei under self imposed surveillance

In response to the constant surveillance by the Chinese government, Ai Wei-Wei has installed webcams in his studio streaming the artist's life onto the web live.  The site, weiweicam.com is currently down.  I suspect this is the result of the international news coverage and a world population addicted to reality television. 

Since we were recently on the topic of Damien Hirst, here is the link to his live studiocam.

Hirst's Studio - 4/4/12 - 8:00am CST

Damien Hirst - Old World Death, New World Style

The (not so young) Young British Artist Damien Hirst is being honored with a  retrospective of his work at the Tate Modern.  In the 1990s, Hirst exemplified British avant garde art.  The most famous work was a shark suspended in a vat of formaldehyde.  As can been seen in the Tate show, death is the recurring theme.  Like the encrusted skulls of the Aztecs, Hirst created a modern Bling version with rhinestones.  This Aztec skull is at the British Museum, while Hirst's "For Love of God" is at the Tate.

Aztec Mask, British Museum

"For Love of God" biting Hirst

Dock Rules - No Diving

The severe drought in Texas has left many lakes with little water.  But, the simple rules of water safety still apply.

Lake Buchanan, March 2012

Kafka's Castle, Like Hell, a Place You Can Visit

Richardo Bofill's "Castle", 1968

In 1926, Franz Kafka introduced us to K. and his sisyphean struggle against bureaucracy.  The Castle has become a cultural metaphor for how government can make the most simple of tasks impossible.  In the practice of law, one makes frequent visits to the Castle.  Most recently, I spent 4 months trying to obtain a payoff amount on a Medicare subrogation claim (basically, I was trying to give the government money I had collected for them).  Despite the clear understanding that the "Castle" is a bad thing, Ricardo Bofill  of Taller de Arquitectura designed and built an apartment building inspired by the Castle.  The project was as experiment in construction without a plan.  Instead of a plan, the design was a formula: a series of cubes radiating from the center with each cube representing a different space.

Hell on Cayman Is.

So, if you want to visit the Castle, then head to Sant Pere de Ribes in Spain.  Likewise, if want to visit Hell, head to the Caymans.  

Chaucer and the U.S. Supreme Court: I know it when I hear it

George Carlin - 1978 - 7 Filthy Words

As one can guess, all references to Chaucer by the United States Supreme Court have concerned the issue of obscenity.

United States v. 12 200-ft. Reels of Super 8MM. Film, 413 US 123 (1973) - In this case, the Court considered the issue of whether a person could import obscene material for personal use.  The dissent makes reference to the ribald character of the Canterbury Tales.  The dissent explains that it is impossible to define "obscenity" because it is ever shifting and highly subjective.  For example, Chaucer was morally offensive to Victorian England, now it is required reading in US high schools... just don't let them read the "Miller's Tale."

FCC v. Pacifica Foundation, 438 US 726 (1978) -  This is the landmark case addressing George Carlin's "7 Filthy Words" monologue that was aired in 1973. The dissent cites to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales as an example of literature that could not be read, un-edited, on the radio under the current FCC rules concerning obscenity.

FCC v. Fox Television Stations, Inc., 129 S. Ct. 1800 (2009) - The case discusses the FCC fines for cussing on a live television broadcast.
"This case concerns utterances in two live broadcasts aired by Fox Television Stations, Inc., and its affiliates prior to the Commission's Golden Globes Order. The first occurred during the 2002 Billboard Music Awards, when the singer Cher exclaimed, "I've also had critics for the last 40 years saying that I was on my way out every year. Right. So f* * * `em." Brief for Petitioners 9. The second involved a segment of the 2003 Billboard Music Awards, during the presentation of an award by Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, principals in a Fox television series called "The Simple Life." Ms. Hilton began their interchange by reminding Ms. Richie to "watch the bad language," but Ms. Richie proceeded to ask the audience, "Why do they even call it `The Simple Life?' Have you ever tried to get cow s* * * out of a Prada purse? It's not so f* * *ing simple." Id., at 9-10. Following each of these broadcasts, the Commission received numerous complaints from parents whose children were exposed to the language."
The Court goes on to explain that a case by case analysis is appropriate.  For example, what and when an expletive is said makes a difference.  Children would not be watching a live production of the Miller's Tale, and if they did, they would be cussing their parents for control of the remote control.  [Note: this my be an inaccurate interpretation of the opinion.]

70th Anniversary of the Act of March 21, 1942: Criminalized Being a Japanese American

Gordon Hirabayashi, 1945

The forced interment of Japanese Americans during WWII is a sad, dark shadow on American History.  By Executive Order 9066, President Franklin Roosevelt authorized the Secretary of War to designate "military areas" within the US from where US citizens and residents (of Japanese ancestry) may be excluded.  The Legislative Act of March 21, 1942 (Public Law 503) ratified the the president's order and made it a criminal offense to defy that order.

The law went into effect immediately; the judicial review of the law took some time.  The first Supreme Court case to review the constitutionality of Executive Order 9066 and the Act of March 21, 1942 was Hirabayashi v. US, 320 U.S. 81 (1943).  A senior at the University of Washington, Mr. Hirabayashi was charged with two crimes: failing to remain within the designated military area after curfew and failing to report to the Civil Control Station.  Mr. Hirabayashi challenged his conviction on the grounds that the laws unconstitutionally discriminated against US citizens of Japanese descent.  Mr. Hirabayashi was born in the US and had never traveled to Japan. 

The Supreme Court acknowledged that race is, most of the time, irrelevant and that discrimination based on race is, most of the time, prohibited.  But, the Court said that when dealing "with the perils of war," race may be relevant for acts taken in the interest of national defense or the "successful prosecution of war."  In support of their conclusion, Justice Stone quoted Justice Marshall in the landmark decision of McCulloch v. Maryland.  "We must never forget, that it is a constitution we are expounding," "a constitution intended to endure for ages to come, and, consequently, to be adapted to various crises of human affairs."  The "crisis of human affairs" in McCulloch was the creation of a national bank system. The McCulloch decision firmly established the supremacy of federal law over state law, reasoning that the authority of the US Constitution derives directly from the people and not from the states.  The effect of McCulloch was to extend the authority of the US government beyond specifically enumerated powers.  The authority to create a national bank may not be expressly created by the Constitution, but that authority is granted between the lines by the "necessary and proper" clause.  The Legislature has the power to create "all laws" which are necessary and proper for executing the express powers vested by the Constitution.

It is easy to look back and criticize an opinion forged in throws of world war, but when a nation needed calm sobriety, the Judiciary failed its citizens.  In light of McCulloch, the 1942 Court should have asked "Did the people of the United States grant the federal government the power to detain its citizens based on race without due process of law?"  "Various crises of human affairs" cannot be a justification and judicial tool for abrogating citizen's freedoms.  What we learn from Justice Marshall in the McCulloch case is that an analysis of constitutional power begins with the citizens of the nation who relinquished their autonomy "to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, and secure the blessings of liberty to themselves and to their posterity."

Deceptive Horses: Uffington White Horse and da Vinci

The famed Uffington White Horse gained a rider this month.  Paddy Power, an online betting service, added a giant jockey stylized to match its mount, a Bronze Age earth sculpture carved into the hills of Oxfordshire. Unlike the Paddy Jockey, the origin of the ancient horse is shrouded in mystery.  About 3000 years ago, regional tribes carved the horse out of the chalk hills.  Why?  Either the horse symbolized the tribe, marking its territory, or the carving had religious significance, evoking the one of many deities associated with horses and the sun.  Today, the White Horse is one of the most important cultural artifacts of England, thus it is a great target for creative advertisements.

Uffington White Horse with Rider

In other horse retaliated news, the lost Battle of Anghiari by da Vinci may have been discovered behind a Vasari mural in the Palazzo Vecchio.  

Vasari's Battle of Marciano may hide a long lost da Vinci.

The Hole Building and The Ancient Liangzhu Bi

Th "Hole" Building in the Chinese city of Guangzhou

Some of the most interesting architecture is happening in Asia.  The sudden and tremendous growth in wealth has provided Asian corporations with the capital and confidence to build outside the traditional box.  Tradition and homogeneity, important principals of Confucian social order, have been set aside for  creativity and bold expression.  The Guangdong Plastics Exchange building or the "Hole Building,"as it is being called, attempts to merge tradition and modern engineering.  The "hole" design is based on an ancient Chinese artifact, the bi.  A bi is a jade disc from the neolithic Liangzhu culture ( 3000-2000 BCE).  Considering that the building is dedicated to a modern commodity, plastic, the reference to jade, an ancient commodity of great value in China, is appropriate.  Unfortunately, many have associated the building's design with the shape of Chinese coins which have a hole in the middle.  Thus for some, the building looks like a giant symbol of money.

A jade Bi.

Law and Poetry: Remembering Petrarch

Petrarch

In 1320, Petrarch left Florence for Bologna to study law.  The University of Bologna was the first university in the Western World, established in 1088.  He studied in Bologna until 1326 when his father, a lawyer, passed away.  Free from family expectations (and a little richer from his inheritance), Petrarch abandoned his studies in law to pursue his interest in poetry and history.  In the following year he met Laura, his muse.  Other than through Petrarch's poems, the historical Laura has been lost to history.  

Here is an excerpt from Sonnet 140:

"She who teaches me to love

 and to suffer and who wishes that reason,

 modesty and reverence should restrain my

 great desire and burning hope, thrusts aside

 and disdains our ardor."

Baylor WCII Faculty in the law school of Bologna

Graffiti Artist Tilt Goes Commercial - Hotel Room only half painted

Panic Room by Tilt

Tilt ??

Panic Room by Tilt

For those seeking a relaxing stay in Marseille, France, consider the "Panic Room" at the Au Vieux Panier hotel.  Tilt, a bubble-fetish graffiti artist from Toulouse, was commissioned to "tag" half of a hotel room. It is not clear whether the hotelier ran out of money or Tilt ran out of paint, but the half-white, half-graffiti room is striking.

Robot Artists

Often when you combine two good things, a great thing results. I like robots and I like art... so let's see what happens when you combine the two to get Robot Art.

Lawrence Northey, famous Robot Artist

Terry Collier's Robot Art